Since when did we eat our own?

Plenty of fish do it, and so do some insects, but sadly it has become very clear to me that we eat our own too.

To be fair I’m speaking metaphorically.

A few months ago one of my older posts from Tree Bambino was published on the Mamamia website. A big deal for me as it meant that thousands of women would be processing the article in their minds and possibly talking about the topic with those in their lives.

Just to preface, I wrote that article after experiencing two miscarriages at a time when I wasn’t pregnant and didn’t know if I’d ever have children.

I was well prepared once it was published for people to have an opposing viewpoint to my own. We all live our lives differently. Some people experience a miscarriage without too much trauma. Often these women already have at least one child and aren’t facing down the barrel of a childless future. Other women are particularly private and find the thought of discussing their personal issues extremely confronting. What I wasn’t prepared for was the woman eat woman microcosm that exists in the murky comments section below.

I got off reasonably lightly with just a few women wielding their acidic word-swords my way. Out of curiosity to see if my article was any different to others I began reading the comments sections of other articles written on the site.

Oh my!

We’ve got cyber jugulars being gnashed all over the place!

I’m completely fascinated. Have these people ever spoken their thoughts in a space where they have been vulnerable before? Are they generally unhappy people or does the content matter unleash a tormented she-demon that was hiding in the darkness?

Some of the comments aren’t even offensive, just more frustrating as they demonstrate that somebody has missed the point of your sentiment.

Specifically in my case one person commented in reference to the question “why don’t they tell us this stuff?” –

“…I don’t really understand how anyone could not have at least an inkling, between media stories and whisperings amongst friends/relatives/work colleagues…”

Well, Crackerpants, (nice username by the way) that was my exact point. These topics are spoken about as either sensationalized celebrity gossip or shameful whispers amongst the real people you know. In a way you’ve reiterated my thoughts for me. It would be nice if we were able to discuss these topics openly and supportively not as separate from the things that happen in our everyday lives.

Speaking of which, support people for being brave enough to talk about what’s going on for them in general. It is absolutely 100% totally fine for you to not agree with them, and by all means have your say, but appreciate the cowardice of hiding behind a username login that guarantees you pretty much complete anonymity. Plenty of the comments are measured and deliver their disagreement with the topics just fine. For those of you who would prefer to take down your fellow women, I wonder if you had to submit your full name and a photograph of yourself if all these comments would remain the same?

Frustratingly for the author the comments are often fueled by a misread of the article itself or a pre-loaded comment that was going to be shot as soon as the topic was mentioned.

Would you make those same comments if that person stood before you in all their honesty and vulnerability and told you their story?

http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/why-dont-they-tell-us-this-stuff/